Changing Ourselves

Although Christ’s atonement has the ability to heal us, I have come to believe that it is not healing that we should ask for the majority of the time. The atonement is not meant simply to fix every trial and affliction in our lives as some sort of bandage. It is meant to teach us and make us stronger, and eventually save us from the punishments of justice through the merits of grace. It will not make everything go away, because that, like so many other events that we often wish for, would go against the Plan.
“As I've come out and faced my life, I realized [that when I was depressed] I wasn't willing to trust Heavenly Father enough to live my life unless it was a certain way. When I was depressed, I would have been very insulted by that, but looking back now, I see that it was true. I decided that if God loved me then He would let me call more of the shots. When it didn't work out that way, I gave up. I didn't understand: 1. That he was perfectly aware of me and loved me; 2. That my trials had nothing to do with my worthiness or lack of faith; and 3. That I was willing to go to him to ask for help, only if the help was within my own parameters. I don't think I ever said, "Help me be able to be honest with myself." Or "Help me accept and work with the trials in my life" because I didn't want to do those things. I wasn't willing for His will to be done, so in a sense I was inactive, though outwardly that wasn't true. Once I really got that we never were supposed to have control, but to give our wills to him instead, I started to do better. That is a painful transition. Scriptural heroes' lives were chaotic, too, but they realized that it was how they handled it that mattered; their trials were not a punishment, the lack of restitution was not because God forgot them. Happiness comes when we accept his will and do everything we can in spite of our trials.” (Lisa, 35)
Most often, the Lord will strengthen us rather than changing or removing our afflictions. This strength is what we should be praying for, rather than a removal or our sufferings. When Nephi’s brothers tie him up the first time, he does ask for deliverance, but for “strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound” (1 Nephi 7:17). He does not ask that the bands be removed by some force other than his own; he asks for the strength to solve his own problem.
In the same way, after the people of Alma who are in bondage “pour out their hearts to him” (v. 12), the Lord promises that He will “ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs” (Mosiah 24:14). He does not say that He will change their situation, although they are eventually delivered from captivity. Rather, He strengthens the people and makes their burdens more bearable.